Feeling appreciation: How to be grateful in hard times?
Being appreciative during hard times is probably the last thing you want to do. I’d like to show you how developing a daily gratitude practice can help you go through the pain and shift your perspective.
Feeling appreciation: How to be grateful in hard times?
The month of November tends to bring an invitation to focus our minds on appreciation and gratitude. For many, the Thanksgiving celebration kicks off a season of holiday gatherings where there can be an expectation to “count our blessings” and be joyful. But if we are honest, it can be difficult to be grateful in hard times.
The stress and worries about work, the never-ending to-do lists, family tensions, experiencing sickness or grief, and witnessing the pain that exists in our world can often distract us from considering anything good. Being appreciative when we feel like venting, complaining, or isolating-and rightly so-can often feel counterintuitive. Yet, considering the practice of appreciation may just be what we need.
What is appreciation?
When hearing the word appreciation, we may immediately think of feeling thankful or grateful, of being pleased with an outcome or with something that has been received. While thankfulness and gratitude are present, when we experience appreciation, we are encountering joy, and joy tells us that someone is glad to be with us. We are also recognizing that someone or something is valuable.
Appreciation is cultivated by times in our lives when we have felt joyful, peaceful, accepted, and/or connected to others, nature, or activities we treasure and enjoy. Having these experiences and intentionally recalling the memories later trains our minds to notice and look for the good things in life.
How can feeling appreciation benefit me?
Focusing on appreciation helps activate our relational mind and we can become more open to receiving from others. Modern brain science has shown that keeping our minds in a state of appreciation helps us increase the capacity to stay connected to those we love, including God and spirituality, which can build resilience during painful situations.
Slowing down and focusing your attention on a pleasant experience can also help reduce stress, increase relaxation, and develop a fresh perspective.
How to practice appreciation?
Developing a daily gratitude practice could only take a few minutes of uninterrupted time. Here are three simple steps to help you get started:
1. Recall.
Take a moment and think of a time when you felt joyful, peaceful, connected, or accepted. As the memory arises, give it your full attention for 2-3 minutes. You can increase the time up to 5-8 minutes as your practice becomes consistent.
Avoid memories that may bring pain, for example remembering a wonderful dinner you had with a close family member who recently moved far away. Focus on purely joyful memories, like taking a walk in your favorite spot or playing with your puppy. Some memories may carry high energy of joy to your mind while others could carry quiet energy and peace.
2. Connect with your senses and your body.
As you are focusing on the memory, remember what you saw, heard, smelled, touched, or tasted at that time and any important details that can help you fully connect with the memory.
What emotions or sensations do you notice in your body as you connect with the memory? Is there a tingle, a release, or a temperature change? Perhaps there is a feeling of calm, or excitement. Where does gratitude or the sense of appreciation "live" in your body? For a few breaths notice any body sensations you are experiencing as you connect with appreciation from the memory.
3. Write it down.
Write down any body sensations you noticed and observed to help integrate the feeling of appreciation from the memory. Writing it down helps you solidify your experience of gratitude and come back to it later. This is an important step, intentionally recalling the memories later is what trains our brains to notice and look for the good things in life!
Appreciation is a simple yet powerful resource that can help you stay relational, build joy capacity during difficult times, and reshape your perspective to a more life-giving one with practice.
Download a PDF of your daily gratitude practice here.
References:
Merriam-Webster. (2022). Merriam-Webster Dictionary. https://www.merriam-webster.com/
Brown, A. (2021). Journey Groups: Level One: A Relational Discipleship Experience. Deeper Walk International.
K.D. Lehman MD. (2011). Brain Science, Psychological Trauma, and the God Who Is with Us, Part V: The Immanuel Approach, Revisited.
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I hope this information was valuable to you. If you’d like to learn more about how feeling appreciation and being more connected to your body can help you improve your relationships and feel more confident with yourself, read how I can help here.
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