30 Days of Appreciation: Insights from a Christian Counselor in Chicago
Lately, I’ve heard from several people that October felt especially difficult. When I first heard this, I felt a sense of relief because I had been struggling, too. But at the same time, I felt sad knowing that so many of us were carrying heavy burdens and feeling overwhelmed.
As a Christian counselor in Chicago, I often help my clients navigate how seemingly opposing emotions can exist at the same time- relief and sorrow, gratitude and grief, hope and uncertainty. These conversations led me to reflect on how I moved through my own difficult moments. I noticed that, even on the hardest days, I could experience a full range of emotions and still find my way back to joy- even if just for a moment.
The kind of joy I’m talking about isn’t the high-energy, laughter-filled kind. It’s a quiet, steady presence, a gentle gladness that reminds you you’re not alone. As I looked closer, I realized something powerful: a daily appreciation practice was helping reshape my mind and guide me back to this sense of peace. Let me share how.
A Daily Appreciation Practice from a Christian Counselor in Chicago
Before you check out, please hear me out. I know that when we are hurting, frustrated, or experiencing loss, it can be hard to think about gratitude. Living in a big and quick-paced city like Chicago can also make it challenging to pause and shift our focus.
For a couple of years, I have been studying the practice of appreciation and gratitude. By engaging in this simple act, we can become resilient and more open to connecting with others and God. Did you know that this practice can also rewire your brain? In the same way that our mind can replay painful memories, it can also learn to replay moments that bring joy. When we do this, we help our brain become stronger, so we can better handle and recover from painful emotions.
In neuroscience, there is a saying: "Neurons that fire together wire together." When we practice appreciation, our brain creates new patterns that affect our behavior. Isn’t that amazing? We create change in our thoughts, emotions, and behavior as we re-experience appreciation!
The 30-Day Appreciation Challenge that Rewired My Brain and Can Rewire Yours Too
The exercise titled "Reset your Brain's Normal to Joy, Appreciation, and Quiet" comes from the work of Jim Wilder. He studied how cultivating joy helps people heal relationships and prevent trauma and addiction.
Here's how it goes.
Begin by making a list of 5-10 memories that made you feel appreciation, gratitude, or gladness. These memories should not connect to any emotional pain. For example, one of my memories called "Mis pies en la orilla de la playa"/"My feet by the seashore," takes me to a serene time. I felt God's peace while noticing the gentle ocean waves moving through my feet.
Once you have your list of memories, use a timer to move through these simple steps between 1-3 times a day:
1. Take 2 minutes to “Shalom My Body” or bring your body to a calm and peaceful state. You may stretch, take deep breaths, or gently massage your neck or rub your temples.
2. Take 5 minutes and focus on your appreciation memory. Shift between memories as you start to notice them fading; there’s no need to go through them all. Remembering how that time felt and how it feels now by using your five senses is important. This is what activates the part of your brain that creates change!
3. Take 2 minutes for simple “Quieting” through deep/belly breathing.
Embracing Appreciation in the Healing Journey
I practiced the exercise, on average, 2 times a day for 30 days. Using an alarm and timer helped me stay accountable and follow through with my goal. Even though I didn't always want to practice, I found myself looking forward to it once I did.
Sometimes, it was difficult for me to stay focused. Yet, by staying dedicated to completing the exercise, I was able to see progress. In the first few days, I didn’t notice any significant changes. But, at about weeks two and three, things started to shift, and I noticed:
1. That I could manage triggers more effectively.
Whenever I got activated the intensity of a negative emotion didn’t last as long and I recovered sooner.
2. An increase in my ability and willingness to interact with others.
When I feel overwhelmed it can be exhausting to think about connecting with others, even if I want to. I became more open to spending time with loved ones instead of wanting to isolate. This increased my openness to ask for and receive support.
3. A shift in perspective.
The exercise helped me feel closer to God and find moments of peace and encouragement. It became easier to reconnect to hope and see new possibilities.
Fostering Healing through Appreciation in Christian Counseling in Chicago
As I completed the 30-day appreciation challenge, I was pleasantly surprised. I noticed I was embodying the principles I often share with my clients in Christian counseling. For instance, the exercise "Shalom My Body" is much like how I begin each therapy session in my office in Chicago. During our sessions, I guide my clients to pause and tune into their bodies. This helps them connect with themselves and be more open to God.
As a Christian counselor in Chicago, I'm in awe at how God intricately designed our brains to experience joy, belonging, connection, and love. These are human needs hardwired into us that are meant to be fulfilled. Sometimes, we may seek them in the wrong places, with the wrong people, or through misguided means.
This experience deepened my respect for what I ask of my clients in our work together. Starting Christian counseling in Chicago to heal our relationships requires courage and vulnerability. It can be scary to acknowledge the need for help and to commit to trying something different.
The practice of appreciation in Christian counseling is powerful when navigating profound pain. It helps us attune to signs of life, become more receptive to love, and shift our focus from what we lack to what we have. Going through this challenge made me even more hopeful that growth and change are a reality. That the small steps we are taking, though seemingly unnoticeable now, will yield abundant fruit in the years to come.
Schedule a Free Consultation for Christian Counseling in Chicago
Are you ready to start your healing journey, connect with God, and find joy in your relationships? Take the first step towards a more connected and fulfilling life. Schedule your free 15-minute consultation for Christian counseling in Chicago today!
