Loving yourself as God loves you: Insights from Christian Counseling Chicago
When Valentine’s Day Feels Like a Spotlight on What’s Missing
Valentine’s Day can be a beautiful celebration of love, but for many, it can also highlight what they don’t have. Whether it’s the absence of a romantic relationship, unmet expectations, or a lingering sense of not measuring up, this season can stir up self-doubt, comparison, and even self-criticism.
As a Christian counselor in Chicago, I see how deeply people struggle with this, not just in relationships, but in many areas of life. Maybe it’s feeling behind in your career, not living up to family expectations, or struggling with personal growth. When we feel like we’re falling short of some standard, whether set by society, loved ones, or ourselves, it’s easy to view ourselves harshly. But what if, instead of judgment, we related to ourselves with the same love and compassion God has for us?
Embracing God’s Love for You through Christian Counseling in Chicago
God’s love is unconditional, steadfast, and not based on performance. Yet, this truth can be difficult to grasp because so much of our sense of worth is shaped by what we do, what we achieve, or how others perceive us. In many ways, culture flips God’s design upside down.
As my pastor once shared, we are first given worth and value simply by being created in God’s image. Before we ever do anything, we are already deeply loved. Only then does God invite us to steward that love well. But in today’s world, it often feels reversed, our worth is measured first by our achievements, then by what we have (or don’t have), and only afterward do we feel deserving of love.
Through Christian counseling in Chicago, I help my clients process past wounds that have shaped how they see themselves. Many have internalized the belief that their worth is conditional, that they need to prove themselves, be “better,” or do more to be fully loved. Together, we explore these painful experiences, invite God’s perspective into them, and reconnect with the truth of who they are: chosen, accepted, loved, and forgiven, without needing to earn it.
What if you viewed yourself the way God sees you? I invite you to pick one way in which God sees you and meditate on it every day for the next week. Notice how it may affect the way you relate to yourself.
Embracing how God sees you, even in small ways, can be a powerful step toward healing and changing the way you see yourself.
Can Christian Counseling help me practice self-acceptance?
Self-acceptance doesn’t mean ignoring flaws or pretending we have it all together. Instead, it means seeing ourselves through the lens of grace, the way God does.
If you’ve ever struggled with harsh self-criticism or perfectionism, you’re not alone. Many of my clients come to therapy burdened by an inner critic that tells them they aren’t good enough, that they have to be perfect, or that they’ll only be worthy once they meet certain expectations. But the truth is, God never demanded that we earn His love, only that we trust in it.
In Christian counseling in Chicago, I help my clients shift their relationship with their inner critic by:
Understanding the root of negative self-beliefs. Past hurt, trauma, or unmet emotional needs can create doubt about whether we are truly loved. Healing begins when we gently uncover and replace these false beliefs with God’s truth.
Practicing self-compassion exercises. Learning to speak to yourself as you would to a dear friend can be life-changing.
Engaging in mind-body awareness practices. Tuning into your body’s signals helps soothe and regulate your nervous system when feelings of shame or self-judgment arise. This shift allows you to respond with kindness rather than self-criticism.
Viewing imperfections through the lens of grace. Self-acceptance means embracing the truth that we are loved as we are, not just in our strengths but also in our struggles. Instead of seeing flaws as failures, we can see them as spaces where grace and growth can take root.
Some practical ways to cultivate self-acceptance in faith include:
Writing down scripture-based affirmations that remind you of God’s deep love for you. For example, “I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14). Let these truths sink into your heart.
Transforming your self-talk. When negative thoughts arise, gently replace them with God’s truth. Instead of thinking, “I’m not good enough,” remind yourself, “I am already loved and chosen by God.” If this feels hard, ask a trusted friend to share what they see and appreciate in you.
Turning self-doubt into prayer. When insecurity creeps in, invite God into the moment, ask Him to help you see yourself through His eyes, with love, grace, and compassion.
How can Christian Counseling in Chicago help me set Healthy Boundaries as an Act of Love?
Setting boundaries is a way of showing yourself love and respect. It’s not about pushing people away, but about creating space for love to grow.
However, for so many people, setting boundaries feels incredibly hard. I often hear from clients who struggle to say no, feel guilty for prioritizing their own needs, or constantly put others first. Many have been taught—whether directly or subtly—that love has to be earned. So, they overextend, overcommit, and push their own well-being aside.
This is why tuning into your body’s cues is so important. As a dance therapist offering Christian counseling in Chicago, I help clients notice the physical signs of overextending, like tight shoulders, that sinking feeling in the stomach, the exhaustion that comes from saying yes too often. Through movement, we explore what it feels like to shift from a hesitant, shrinking posture to one that is open, steady, and confident, a posture that embodies the truth that they have the right to set loving limits.
Even Jesus set boundaries, taking time to step away, pray, and reconnect with God (Luke 5:16, Mark 1:35). If He made space for rest and renewal, it’s a beautiful reminder for us to do the same, and an invitation to nurture our spirit in moments of stillness.
Some examples of healthy boundaries that cultivate peace include:
Emotional boundaries: Not taking responsibility for others’ emotions or fixing everything for them.
Spiritual boundaries: Creating time for rest, prayer, and connection with God—even when life feels busy.
Relational boundaries: Saying no when something doesn’t align with your values, rather than saying yes out of guilt.
You are allowed to take up space. You are allowed to have needs. You are allowed to rest.
Living in the Freedom of God’s Love: Final Thoughts from a Christian Counselor in Chicago
At the core of true self-worth is this truth: You are deeply loved by God, not because of what you do, but because of who you are.
When we embrace this truth, we stop seeking validation from the world and start living in the peace and freedom that comes from knowing we are fully accepted. We show up in relationships more confidently, more authentically, and with a greater ability to love others, because we are no longer looking to prove our worth.
This is an area I’m continually growing in, and I’ll be learning and evolving in it for the rest of my life. Embracing God’s love is a journey that deepens our connection with Him, and as a Christian counselor, I’m honored to help others experience that growth too.
If you’re having a hard time accepting yourself, remember that you don’t have to go through this alone. This Valentine’s Day let’s reconnect with our first love, the One that truly defines us.
Schedule a free consultation for Christian counseling in Chicago
Are you ready to nurture a deeper connection with yourself and God? If you're struggling with self-acceptance, I invite you to take the first step toward healing. Schedule your free 15-minute consultation today and explore how Christian counseling in Chicago can help you feel more grounded in God’s love.
Lisaura is a relationship therapist in Chicago who offers individual relationship counseling, and dance therapy to help adults connect with themselves and others more deeply.
