Building Stronger Relationships Through Christian Counseling in Chicago
Have you ever felt the weight of anxiety in your relationships, replaying a hurtful moment, feeling stuck in tension, or holding onto a grudge that feels too heavy to let go? When relationships become strained, whether with family, friends, or loved ones, focusing on what’s hurtful or broken is understandable. But what if there’s another way? What if healing and connection could begin with a gentle shift, a choice to notice and appreciate the good that still exists, even during the struggle?
As a relationship therapist specializing in Christian counseling in Chicago, I love encouraging my clients to explore the practice of appreciation to shift their relationship toward themselves and those they love. This simple yet profound act can transform how we view and interact with the people around us, especially during challenging times. By purposefully noticing and celebrating the good in others, we can nurture deeper empathy, build greater emotional resilience, and create healthier, more fulfilling relationships.
How Can Appreciation Heal and Strengthen My Relationships through Christian Counseling?
Appreciation is more than saying “thank you” or politely accepting praise or a compliment. It’s an attitude of delight and joy in another person’s presence, an intentional choice to see and honor what is valuable in them. When we practice appreciation, we communicate, “I see you, and I’m glad to be with you.”
This mindset doesn’t just help the recipient; it transforms us as well. Neuroscience shows that acts of appreciation activate pathways in the brain that promote connection and release feel-good chemicals like dopamine. These small yet significant shifts help us feel closer to loved ones, even when tension or misunderstanding arises.
How Can Christian Counseling in Chicago Help Shift My Focus in Relationships?
When relationships feel challenging, it’s easy to get caught up in the pain. Maybe you’re replaying a friend’s harsh words, feeling dismissed by a sibling, or wrestling with the sting of a parent’s criticism. Those moments of hurt are valid and deserve to be acknowledged, they’re an important part of healing. But when our focus stays locked on what’s wrong, it can overshadow the bigger picture.
The truth is none of us are perfect. We all have our struggles, ourselves included. The practice of appreciation invites us to pause, take a deep breath, and intentionally notice the good.
For instance, rather than interpreting someone’s bad mood as a reflection of your value, practicing appreciation in Christian counseling can help you stay rooted in your own sense of worth, while also offering compassion for their struggles. It gently opens the door to empathy and curiosity: What might they be going through? How can I hold on to what I know is good about them while we navigate this hard moment?
This perspective doesn’t dismiss the pain you’ve experienced but adds a layer of grace. It can help you feel more secure in yourself, manage your emotions with greater ease, and nurture a deeper sense of connection and understanding in your relationships.
How to Start Practicing Appreciation in Christian Counseling in Chicago
If you’re feeling unsure about where to begin, that’s okay. Learning to practice appreciation takes time and intention. Here are three simple steps to help you get started:
Notice the Good
Pause and reflect on a specific quality you value in a loved one. Maybe it’s your friend’s sense of humor, your parent’s generosity, or your sibling’s resilience. Give yourself a moment to fully focus on that quality and why it matters to you.
Connect with Gratitude
Take a few deep breaths and notice how thinking about this quality affects you. Does it bring a sense of warmth, calm, or joy? Pay attention to any shifts in your body, like a softened chest or a relaxed jaw. Let yourself enjoy the feeling of gratitude.
Express It
When you feel ready, share your appreciation. This could be a simple text, a phone call, or a heartfelt conversation. For example: “I just want to say I really admire your patience. It’s something I’ve always looked up to, and it reminds me how important it is to stay calm in tough moments.” These small but intentional acts can go a long way in deepening connection. 
The Ripple Effect of Appreciation: Insights from Christian Counseling
The practice of appreciation doesn’t just transform individual relationships, it can strengthen entire communities. When we train ourselves to see the good in others, we become more empathetic, curious, and willing to listen. This is especially powerful in moments of disagreement or tension. By choosing to look for the image of God in others, we can approach conversations with greater humility and grace.
As Christians, we are encouraged to love one another as Christ loves us. This love isn’t about ignoring flaws or pretending everything is perfect; it’s about seeing others through God’s eyes, with kindness, patience, and a willingness to forgive. Practicing appreciation helps us align our hearts with this calling, making space for healthier, more authentic relationships.
References
Brown, A. (2021). Journey Groups: Level One: A Relational Discipleship Experience. Deeper Walk International.
K.D. Lehman MD. (2011). Brain Science, Psychological Trauma, and the God Who Is with Us, Part V: The Immanuel Approach, Revisited.
Christian Counseling in Chicago: A Path Toward Healing
If you find yourself feeling anxious or isolated in your relationships, know that change is possible. Through the practice of appreciation and other tools explored in Christian counseling, you can begin to shift your perspective, foster deeper connections, and experience the joy of seeing and celebrating the good in those around you.
As a Christian counselor in Chicago, I’m here to support you on this journey. Whether you’re navigating family tensions, struggling to communicate with friends, or longing for healthier relationships, I can help you explore practical tools like appreciation to create meaningful change.
Book a Free consultation for Christian Counseling in Chicago
If you’re ready to feel more grounded and connected in your relationships, schedule your free 15-minute consultation for Christian Counseling today. Together, we can help you draw closer to God, yourself, and your loved ones.
Lisaura is a relationship therapist in Chicago who offers individual relationship counseling, dance therapy, and couples workshops to help adults connect with themselves and others more deeply.
